


A month

by Gio_hannigram



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hannibal - Freeform, Hannigram - Freeform, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Short One Shot, Suicide, Tears, is very sad, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gio_hannigram/pseuds/Gio_hannigram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a month since the last time he looked Will in the eyes, since he made the decision to go and leave him.</p><p>A month since Will abandoned him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A month

**Author's Note:**

> Last work and super late for #ItsStillBeautiful
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to my great beta my Nigel, thank you so much for handling my writing love.
> 
>  
> 
> Sis, thanks for the support as always.

“A month,” Hannibal whispered, pain overtook him at the realization of it.

It had been a month since Will left him.

It had been a month since the last time he looked Will in the eyes, since he made the decision to go, quitting from Hannibal´s life.

 _Oh,_ and how much it hurt.

The pain was so different from the last time they got separated, from all the other times when Will had pulled away from him. All those times Hannibal had been able to keep going, he had even tried to move  to Florence. But this time, oh this time was so different, this time Hannibal felt the agonizing sensation of it being the last time, of Will never coming back to him.

It was over and how much it hurt.

Sometimes he tried to regain his sense of self, to be Hannibal Lecter again but he knew Will had done it this time, broken him beyond repair. All his wounds from the cliff were still present, the aches, the bruises, but he knew those wounds would heal and fade with time. He, the person he used to be, was broken in two and there was no way to gather the pieces together.

He found himself stopping in the middle of the room, as if a dagger had come out of nowhere, stabbing him through the heart making him gasp for air as the pain in his chest overtook him, trembling and shivering at random moments of the day as Will´s shadow clouded his heart.

A storm would take over his body without warning reminding him of everything he lost, making him stop until he hit the ground and curled into a tight mess right there, not caring if someone saw him or what he was doing.

Most of those times he wished he had told Will “no” that time he said he needed him; he should have sent him away.

Hannibal Lecter was not a man who believed in regret, if things happened there was never a way to stop them from happening in the first place.

That person and those beliefs were nowhere to be seen now.

He knew the marks on his skin would leave, but what Will had done, the changes he had made to him, would keep hurting.

Sometimes he found himself thinking back to the cliff, to his time with Will, how for a brief moment they had found paradise. He had thought he couldn´t ask for anything else. He thought about that time when Will was next to him, when they had embraced and shone brightly.

He thought of everything he lost, and it hurt, Will had hurt all along.

Sometimes he thought back to the bloody kitchen, to a time when he believed he was going to move on and recover; he almost had. Sometimes he thought back to Will making him go and realizing that he didn´t want his freedom without Will, of a time when he surrendered for only the tiniest hope of a new chance to have Will in his life.

Most of all, he found himself remembering a time and place where Will made him believe he needed Hannibal as much as Hannibal needed him. He went back to a question that he had found the answer to. He knew the truth now; he was alive but he was not going to survive, not this time.

It had been a month since Will left his life, only a month and it felt eternal.

Most nights found him wishing he had never allowed himself to love Will Graham.

It had been a month since Will Graham slipped away from this life, since he had looked Hannibal in the eye and made him understand he was leaving.

A month since Will abandoned him.

Once upon a time the idea of eating Will had been alluring, a delicious and thrilling excitement; then he realised he preferred to hunt, cook and eat with Will sitting in front of him.

But as he stared into Will´s vacant eyes, the mere idea of cutting through his flesh made his stomach turn and his heart ache, and he was overwhelmed by the unnerving sensation of wanting to throw up.

A month had gone by since he cried over and over again on his knees, yelled to the skies and buried Will Graham because as he held the cold lifeless body of the one that held his heart, he realized with despair that he couldn´t bear the thought of cutting, and breaking open what remained of the man in his arms.

A month since Will had thrown them over the cliff, kissed him at the bottom of it, and faded away from him.

He had fought to pull him away from the sea, but Will had only stared at him as he tried to make him anchor to life; he had smiled at him, shaken his head and stopped breathing.

Sometimes he could swear he still felt the warm of Will´s lips against his own as they fell, as if he was trying to warm him and prepare him for the cold sea that separated them once and for all.

As he touched his lips with closed eyes, trying to remember Will´s taste the front door fell, and Jack stared at him with satisfaction that quickly turned to confusion and then understanding.

Yes, he had let himself get caught, yes he had been waiting for this moment for a month. He had waited and tried to think of a way to keep on but the fact was that he was a mess on the floor in front of at least ten officials and Jack Crawford, not caring to hold back the tears forming in his eyes as he finally looked Jack in the eye and whispered “He´s gone…Will…”  The crack in his voice at letting Will´s name fall from his lips told him that there were no roads left.

He stood and closed his eyes. Will´s smile and outstretched hand appeared and as his name fell from Will´s lips, Hannibal opened his eyes and looked straight at Jack. Jack shook his head at him; of course he didn't want to kill him. Reaching for his gun Hannibal threw a glance at the officer next to Jack, and before Jack could stop it Hannibal had the younger man´s bullet through his head.

Jack could only stare as Hannibal´s body hit the ground, a bloody halo forming around him.

A month had passed since Hannibal was able to reach and take Will´s hand; it was time he took it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos, whatever, let me know what you thoughts on this are, please.
> 
>  
> 
> I wrote this in a few hours thanks to the song "Dueles" by Jesse and Joy.


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